Google It Bitch

Today I started thinking about lots of stuff.
Like my past and all the messed up shit that's happened,
and why that stuff even happened in the first place.

Sometimes I look for reasons that make me different from everyone else
Other times I just wish we were all the same.
So that way, nobody could judge me,
Or call me weird, different, strange.

I like to think that I'm uniquely normal.
Sort of an oxymoron but whatever.

College is about 6 months away.
And I feel like the only person not completely depressed
because I won't see my friends that much...or ever again.
But I'm very adaptable.

Yes, I complain when perfectly fine things change for no reason,
but I'm leaving for a reason.
I don't fit in here.
I've changed myself, adapted, like evolutionized
myself so that I could be with the people I wanted to be with

Of course I'm ranting on.
Because truthfully,
I have my life story locked inside my head
and no one will probley ever care
except me.
And no one is going to understand my thought process
i.e. this blog because they don't know the full story.

And I keep thinking about how long it's
been since I had a boy tell me I'm beautiful
and kiss me on the lips in the softest possible way.
And how I look over at night and wish someone was therewith me, to hold me after I have a nightmare and tell me there are no bad things hiding under my bed and in my closet.